When we take family outings and it’s just me against 3 under the age of 8 things can get hectic. Over time I’ve blocked the humor out of most things and just taken the event for what it is. A “normal” conversation/event. At the grocery store you will probably over hear me threaten to drop them off at the adoption agency if they don’t start behaving. I’m not saying it to get a laugh out of anyone in earshot. I’m just trying to rattle the little dudes cages and snap them out of this sort of a sugar high or whatever they might be high on. I’m certain SAM’s club pumps misbehaving vapors out of their duct system.
Today I was offered the chance to see things from another perspective and it was quite comical. Barrett has been enjoying hip hop dance class this month and while he is enjoying breaking it down I get to try and catch up with a couple friends and play damage control with the two smaller boys. Today Merrick found crayons in the kids room. He brought a workbook so it worked out well. He was coloring away when I had the great idea to take off and leave Barrett in class and go to the store and get stuff for dinner.
“Merr, go put the crayons back and we’ll go to the store real quick.
I’ll just stay with Mrs Anna.
No, she’s not going to watch you.
Why?Because I’m not paying her. Go put the crayons back and lets go. Don’t put them in your pocket! Go put them back where you found them.
No, put them back and we’ll buy new crayons. Dad just said we needed new ones anyway.”
Merrick walks to the kids room and comes out with a hand in his pocket and a small orange tip peeking out of his front pocket.
“Merrick, so help you God if that’s a crayon in your pocket you will be grounded for a week!”Merrick freezes and stares at me.
“How long is a week?”
“Merrick Charles!” Laughter erupts around me from a friend and two unknown elderly people a few chairs down. All the laughing adults hid their faces behind hands, newspapers and scholastic flyers. Their laughter broke my upset parent mode from preventing a child from becoming a swipper and helped me to smile at the situation. My five year old was trying to figure out if stealing a crayon is worth not playing on the computer or Ipad for however long a week is. He turned quickly back toward the room and I give him a pat down to confirm the crayon was put back.
Maybe it’s a situation where you would have had to been there. Maybe it’s situation where you’d have to know Merrick but either way those that witnessed it were caught off guard and got a good laugh out of it. Including this mama. After I was serious about patting him down of course.