Pooping on the Potty is like Giving Birth (to a 2 year old boy)

Kierran has been showing great interest in potty training so about a month ago I slowly started opening up to the idea of tackling potty training. It’s such a pain in the butt. I understand there is an awesome pay off but meanwhile there are weeks of accidents and massive amounts of laundry, scrubbing poop out of the carpet…Let me say that if you are saying in your head “Oh, all you have to do it lock yourself in the house for three days…” STOP! I don’t want to hear it.

Yesterday we went on our first grocery shopping trip while potty training. He peed before we left the house. He peed in the parking lot before we went inside the store, he peed after I made it through the fruits and vegetables and peed again when we got back out to the parking lot. I make that sound a lot more peaceful than I felt. I forgot half of the groceries I was supposed to buy and the older two boys were acting up. I’m positive someone contemplated calling CPS. Though I should add later in the day an electricity auditor came to the house and before he left he said, “You handle your boys very well. It’s nice to see someone who doesn’t swear at their kids, you can’t imagine the families I’ve seen.” So that was cool. I have his business card if I need someone to testify at my CPS hearing.

Overall pee isn’t my enemy. Poop is my enemy. A few weeks ago Kierran had to poop and was so terrified of pooping on the potty he held his poop in for 5 days. He cried and whined A LOT. We went back to diapers so he would feel more comfortable. He still fussed but eventually he got it all out three diapers later. YUCK! I figured out that his signal for having to poop is holding himself saying “Poooooo” and then he starts fussing. He paces around the living room and gets distracted for a moment then comes back whining again. It reminds me labor, like he’s contracting. I keep placing him on the potty and telling him to sit and stay until the poopy comes out. He gets back up and eventually makes his way back to me whining and crying. I even made up a song to sing to him to encourage him to poop on the potty.

To the tune of If You’re Happy and You Know it

Put the poopy in the potty get a candy
Put the poopy in the potty get a candy
Put the poopy in the potty and you will not be naughty
Put the poopy in the potty get a candy

After a long drawn out process and me threatening to spank his butt he sits on the potty and poops. The look on his face is relief and amazement. Then the next day, same routine. He knows what’s going to happen but he still went through the whining, fussy, pacing, contracting, relief and amazement phases. And the obvious forgetting phase of childbirth that gets you pregnant again. Difference being that he forgets that it’s going to be ok (it’s poop for goodness sake!) and starts acting a fool.

Day three of pooping on the potty was this morning. SAME play. COME ON KID! This is your third child. You know what’s gonna happen by now. Suck it up, put your butt where it belongs and push that dang thing out. Good thing my husband didn’t have this attitude when I was in labor! I will say there was less fussing and pacing on day three then the two times before but not enough to make me happy. I will rejoice in that fact that it took place on the potty and not on the floor, in his pants or in the lawn. The carpet cleaners come today so I hope we can be accident free on the carpet from here on out.

UPDATE- Totally potty trained with the exception of nights. He is the master of his bowels which means we have successfully potty trained our last child.

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