Do Things Happen in 3’s?

It’s Sunday morning and I’m 2 down waiting on number 3.

1. Merrick took a bite of cereal with his front tooth. A tooth he told me three weeks ago was wiggly but never mentioned again. I was in the livingroom he was in the dinning room. He knocks a chair over yelling. I turn as fast as a mother of three boys does (not fast when the same chair tipping happens weekly). He has blood spilling out of his mouth and he’s speaking in tongues so I have no idea what’s happening. 

Now I’m an expert, in my own definition, with bloody mouths as of last week. Kierran suffered blunt force trauma from Merricks hard head. Blood and saliva are freaky! Scott wasn’t home (I think he plans this) and I’m a TAD dramatic. I remained cool however and texted our dentist a photo once I got the bleeding to slow down.  

 

He’s fine. It’s possible he’ll loose those chompers before their time which Scott and I agree will be a great help with his speech issues. We’re hoping the teeth pull through.

So there’s my mouth bleeding expertise. I calmly approach Merrick who won’t let me touch him. After :30 of a little yelling but mostly soft tones he calms down. He wants too keep his baby teeth forever, he hates blood, maybe we can glue them in, Google how to tell when it’s ok to pull a tooth…omg let me pull it!!! Where did he get to be so dramatic? I’m sure Google would come back with “when it’s hanging by a thread!” I forgot to mention, Scott isn’t home.

I sit him down and encourage him to look to it and feel it with his tongue. I was on the phone with Scott when Merr decides I can pull it. Floss in hand, slip knot in place, I slip it on to his tooth and he jerks back and it’s out. I didn’t even get to tie it to the door. I didn’t even get my hands out of his mouth! So now he’s all smiles retelling the experience to Barrett claiming he was so brave he just popped that sucker out. Too bad we all know better. I take his first front tooth gap photo. 

  

I’m texting the photo to my aunt and dad when I hear Kierran say “doodoo, doodoo”.

2. Kierran sprays diarrhea on the hallway carpet because running to the toilet with your pants down is a sure fire way to make it to the pot. I don’t stop my texting just shoo Kierran to the toilet and stare at the screen avoiding reality. Seriously, reacting to these events has become boring. Now I text Scott so he knows how well our morning is going and then clean it up. 

3. TO BE ANNOUNCED because it was happens in 3’s right?

Attempting to Spoil a Dinner

Scott and I had friends over for dinner last night. We enjoy hosting dinner and spending time with our friends but dang! Our kids do their best to try and spoil a good dinner.

Only a few minutes after their arrival Merrick comes to talk to me in the kitchen and I notice something smeared on his forearm. So I ask him what’s on his arm. He looks at it and licks his finger to wipe it, sniffs it… “Is it poop Merrick?” “I don’t know.” I can’t think of anything you’ve eaten today that’s brown. Go to the bathroom and wash your hands and arm with hot soapy water.” Laughing erupts from our guests. I was relieved they saw the comedy it that potentially toxic situation. Merr comes back to me with a very pink arm and pulls me down to him, “Mom, I think it was poop. How did I get poop on my arm?” “Son, I have no idea.” I tried to imagine how that smear came to be but my mind can’t recreate a wipe that places a smear so far up his forearm. But huge kudos to our friends for not choosing fast food instead. They stuck it out with us. Now it’s Kierran’s turn.

Dessert was pumpkin pie with whipped topping! Kierran loves pie but not tonight. He’s never been big on whipped topping either but Scott felt the need to have him try the topping. Forcing a small dab on his tongue he says, “see, it’s yummy!” Says an opptimistic daddy. “He’s gagging.” Says a knowledgable mommy (that’s me). No one moves. BARF! On the table. Everyone is still frozen. I pick him up and take the teary eyed boy to the bathroom to clean up. When I came back out our friends were still there!! Big thanks to the Gibson’s for their cast iron stomachs and the delicious salad and amazing hot sauce! 

We’ll do it again. Maybe without kids?