While driving the other day….”You’re digging what?”
“A hole mom. It’s in the woods so dad won’t be mad.”
“Well that’s good. What’s it for?”
“Poop and pee.”
I’m slowly learning the art of interrogation. Effectively pulling information from someone so they spill their guts before they learn they screwed up by talking. I’m not an expert yet but I’m getting close.
“Wow, that’s cool. Whose idea was this?” (See my mind game here?)
“Mine!!” Shouts Barrett proudly.
“Yeah it’s cool mom. We have a big rock to put out butt on and we’re finding wood to rest our back on and…”
“Mom! I made a toilet paper holder with a stick so we can wipe our butts!”
I tattled to Scott. He thinks he knows where said hole is because they were congregated in an area for a long period of time.
Please imagine my horror when Barrett walked up on the deck today with toilet paper hanging from his shoe.
“Barrett, what’s on your shoe? Is that? DID YOU USE YOUR POOP HOLE!?!”
“No.” And he has this look of a snotty teenage or disgust or maybe it was more like I was dumb for asking?
They (Barrett and Merrick) turn their backs and walk away and Merrick whispers “That was close.”
UNCLE! Do you hear me lord? UNCLE!!!
The evidence I found
Today Merrick asked to go next door to play. He was gone for a bit then returned. I asked, “Could Hayden not play?”
“He asked me to wait outside by my finger got stuck. I can’t get it out.” he starts progressing from a whine to crying. “Why are you taking pictures mom! It’s not funny!”
THIS KID! Geez. “Let me go grab the oil.” I tell him. “Oils not going to work! I’m going to die!” His finger was getting a little too purple. It was a very tight squeeze. This incident got me reminiscing about him and his accidents. I traveled back in time through Facebook and found this little gem.
March 11, 2014
Does the ER have a punch card? We should create one. Another trip to FMH this evening after an afternoon at the ice park.
Merrick had a helmet on but that’s no match for the slide if you snap your head forward on to the ice rail blocking the helmet from impact with your brow bone. Nice black eye forming about 1 hour in to the trip. We chill out and walk around for a while then make our way to the exit.
Right before the exit is a fish bowl. Imagine a large bowl that can fit 3-4 people, made of ice. You can’t get out without help. Kierran got out with my help, Barrett was getting out with dad’s help but Merrick had to do it without help. Both legs slipped out from under him and he smacked forehead first on to the ice. 2 1/2 hours in. BLOOD WAS EVERYWHERE!
Scott yelled for me, my back was turned chasing Kierran down. When I saw the blood I ran to the ticket booths outside and the entrance booth. Neither had med kits. Mater in fact when I asked I was looked at with a dumbfounded stare. Now I’m getting furious! At the last booth I said “…a med kit. Something to stop bleeding?? Hell toilet paper!” Blank stares all around. And no joke I was relatively calm. Rushing but not yelling. I ran back out and another lady had diapers and wipes to help and another lady approached with two band aids she had in her purse. One baby diaper soaked up the blood that wasn’t already all over the ground, in his hair, eyes and mouth. People were starting to gather and stare.
Scott took the other two boys and pulled the truck around and together we hauled Merrick into the truck and took off to the ER.
At the ER Scott took the other two to the cafeteria for dinner. Third time in three weeks (smile emoji), positive we met our deductible.
I stayed with Merr. He was fantastic! He undressed and wore an awesome gown, got some numbing gel and while we waited for that to soak in (30 min) he watched cartoons on my phone. Then came the nitrous. That kid is funny! The nitrous took effect and they started with the injections. He laughed and laughed. Petted my face and said how he just wanted to kiss me.
Scott took the boys home and my mother-in-law came to take Merr and I home. 2 internal stitches and 8 exterior stitches later we were headed to the cafeteria for some nutritious munchies! Dinner at 8:30pm. Oh, funny, the ER PA was the same one we had two weeks ago.
He’s doing well, sleeping now. Mom and dad and drinking beer to relax so we can sleep. We’re both a tad tense.
He surely keep us up to date with our medical knowledge and on our toes!