Lotion Butler

I forced Barrett into the shower tonight as we do almost all Sunday nights in prep from the school week. The conversation usually goes, “I’ll take one tomorrow.”
“No you won’t you’ll forget or I’ll forget. Get in now.”
“But Mom!”
He gets the look of death and stomps into the bathroom. Sundays are the night for cutting nails, lotion, trim hair if needed…. Tonight he hired Merrick as his Shower Butler. Merrick was allowed to stay in the bathroom while Barrett showered if he obeyed his every request. This sends the mom alarm off if you have three boys. Boys like mine.

“What kind of stuff do you do Merrick?”
“I get his towel, I give him a cup if he needs one. Stuff like that.”
“Hmmm ok. Barrett, don’t forget to use lotion when you dry off.”
“Merrick is my Lotion Butler.”
“Yeah, I’ll get the lotion!” says Merrick eagerly.
“WHOA WHOA WHOA! No, Barrett will apply his own lotion! UNDERSTOOD?!?”

Lotion Butler? For the love of…


“Merrick it’s your turn to get in the shower.”
“I’ll take one tomorrow. NO! Do not argue. Take one now. Barrett can be your butler.” Merrick’s eyes light up.
“There is no lotion butler so don’t ask! Got it?”

Normally I would end by saying “UGH WHY BOYS GOD!” but I went to a birthday party today and there were a few older girls. They were awful. I’m grateful I have my boys and girls should be grateful they don’t have me. I’ll take lotion butlers over girl drama any day.

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