The Boy on the Right No Longer Believes

That boy, right there on the right….he became a little less of a young boy last night. He walked up to me in the kitchen and was naming off characters like “Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, Unicorns…what other mystical fake creatures that aren’t real are there?” My eyes got big. I know they did because Barrett froze. I smiled and said “Can you go to my room please?” “Why?” he asked. Because your brothers are standing right here!! But I couldn’t say that so I repeated myself. He got teary eyed. Oh yeah son, he comes your first “getting older” talk.

He laid on my bed and I sat down next to him. “So what did you mean by fake mystical not real creatures?” He began crying. I reassured him he wasn’t in trouble I was only curious what his thoughts were. “Is there anything you’d like to ask me?” “Well, I’ve kind of been thinking that the Easter Bunny isn’t real. I mean he’s a bunny, who plants eggs? I know he has chicken friends but I don’t buy it.” LONG PAUSE. Do I really want to do this? Yes, I do. The Easter Bunny thing has bugged me from the beginning. More so than any other. “No, the Easter Bunny isn’t real. It’s a fun game parents like to play with their kids.” “Who made up the Easter Bunny?” “I have no idea honey.” He then recanted EVERY freaking Easter day since he was probably three years old ripping apart any detail he could remember. He began to act scared when he asked “What about the leprechauns?” Ugh! Do I tell the truth? Do I flip the question on him? “That was mom and dad too.” Wiping tears away he asks how we did it so I let him in on all my secrets. I feel awful. He was ready enough to say something out loud but maybe not ready to hear the truth. I think he’s at an age where he’s asking older questions but still thrives in the innocence of childhood fantasy. I knew the Santa question was coming but first he dissected every prank the leprechauns ever played. “How did you put leprechaun pee in the toilet?” “Green dye” “What about the feet prints” “My hand and fingers as toe prints” “All the toys and cereal?” “Me”. More tears. A lot more tears. Here it comes…..”Santa?” I could only shake my head no. FRICK! I can’t remember what that lady on pinterest wrote to her kids when they told her they didn’t believe. Dangit! It was so good!!! I free styled it and did pretty good. Even remembering this my eyes are misty. Ugh, my baby. “What about the time he came to our house?” “Do you remember how Grandpa and Grandma McCumby would always eat Christmas morning breakfast with us? Grandpa played Santa.” “REALLY!?!” He was excited at that thought which made me happy that he has a new memory of his Great Grandfather. He then quizzed me about the videos the boys get which if you’ve never done it and you have believers…DO IT! It’s awesome! I always did the free version and it’s spectacular. I told him about the website which blew his mind.

We talked about being responsible with what we say around the younger boys and especially at school since we don’t know who believes and who doesn’t. He says “I hate being the oldest!” The only thing he seemed to like it being able to help set up stuff for the younger two.  I asked him if he had any questions for me. “Do you believe in anything that some people say isn’t real?” Insert talk about God and Jesus.

The night ended on a good note. We dried our eyes and played charades with everyone. It wasn’t until I tucked him in at night that he cried again. I reassured him that he could always come to me if he ever questioned anything. I would never lie to him.

As I laid in bed I beat myself up a bit. Should I have just pushed it off? Let him continue to question. Did I do the right thing? Scott and I were about the same age when we stopped believing but I don’t remember being so upset. When I was in bed talking to Scott about it I remembered he never asked about the tooth fairy. Do I still have the tooth fairy? OMG and I probably lost Usik our Elf on the Shelf. Bummer.

2016 UPDATE: I totally thought I published this!! Well we made our way through Christmas and he played along well. A little too well. I think he has forced this event out of his mind because he acted like we never had this conversation. WEIRD

Rookie Mistake

Every Wednesday night the boys attend a bible study class at a local church. It’s similar to AWANA but this program is called CIA (characters in action) and was developed by the local church to teach the kids characteristics of Christ. It’s fun and the kids love it. They are broken up into age groups and each group gets book time and gym time.

Gym time is a series of games that get the kids active. I realized these relay type games are a bit of a bigger deal than I originally thought. There are some strict rules that everyone is good about following and this is because there is a group in Delta that the kids will meet up with for a competition toward the end of the school year. It’s serious business. Everyone seems to have fun, except for Merrick and a few others. That kid is competitive to a fault. I’ve seen him run over kids for the win. He runs but constantly looks behind him to gauge the other runners ultimately slowing him down. Both are a no no’s in my book.

Last night was Parent’s Night. So parents get to go to class with their kids and participate to see what they are learning and play the relay games with them. OMG I had so much fun!! If there was a gym that did relay races I’d join. I joined Barrett and Kierran’s game time and let Scott join Merrick’s. What a workout! Barrett is grouped with kids from 9-19. Huge age range but they are good about dividing the teams up without stacking teams. I can’t tell you how much fun I had without really digressing from the rookie mistake I made.

Barrett’s game time was SUPER competitive because most of the kids are older and have been around longer and know all the rules and are serious about not breaking them. I held my own and learned a lot and surely must have lost some weight because HOLY COW! It was fast and furious. People were getting trampled left and right. One lady got taken out by a floor scooter right in the ankle! Man it looked SO painful. After 30 min of the Hunger Games I was grateful when in walked Kierran’s age group, 3-4 year olds. It was a nice break to not be competitive and a little slower paced. We still maintained a slight competitive flair and were a little loose with the rules to a degree.

After a few little runs to warm the kids up we started the relay races. Kierran and I waited in line for the relay race to begin . We were the first to receive the hand off of the baton. I was looking over my shoulder not really paying attention to him. He holds up his finger to me and says, “Mommmmm”. He probably got hurt. The littles fell down a lot and when you are going full speed there were some dragging of kids and jumping over. I assumed he got hurt and kissed his ouchie finger. I’m not sure if I heard the gasp or just happened to question what I did or possibly it was the feeling of what felt like lip gloss on my lips but I glance down at the three year old picking the boogers out of his nose. I made eye contact with another mom in front of me and I said, “Did what I think happened, really just happen?”. She laughed and said, “I’ve done it before too.” “That’s a rookie mistake! How could I have kissed a booger!?” EVERY parent roared with laughter. “It’s extra protein!”, “Extra antibodies to help keep you healthy!” Nothing was comforting. BLAH!

So a warning to all parents, don’t let your guard down! To all rookie parents or non parents, learn from my mistake. I bet I won’t do that again.