Trust Issues

One of my most prized possessions is my relationship with my boys. Trust is something I work at everyday with them. I want them to understand how fragile trust is. How easily it’s lost and how hard it is to gain. We’ve had our fair share of issues with lying and I’ve explained how trust in them has been compromised by lying. They are kids however and they are learning but we are old enough to understand how to keep someone’s trust and we have to teach them. I want my boys to know without a doubt they can trust us and be assured that when they confide in Scott and I they are safe.

We’ve created a safe word between us when something has the potential to receive a highly explosive response. They can use the safe word and be guaranteed a calm response. They’ve used it a few times. It’s hard to control a response at times but the method works overall. I want the boys to come to us and feel comfortable asking us questions too. I know right now we’re dealing with small potatoes compared to what the future could hold so I feel now’s the time to establish open communication and trust.

Driving in the car to town the other day Barrett was silent, lost in thought, riding up front with me. We were cruising down the highway and with a huge grin on his face Barrett confided in me,”Mom, one day when I’m able to drive I’m going to drive down a straight road as fast as I can and when it’s icey I’ll spin the car around in circles again and again. It will be so fun!”

I love that he trusts me enough to share such thoughts with me! I’m doing it you guys! I’m succeeding at parenting!! He’s only 3 years away from being eligible for a drivers permit so let’s get real here. I patted him on the shoulder and smiled,”Thank you for sharing that with me honey. I now know that as long as you are under my care I will drive you everywhere because you are not allowed to ever get your drivers license.” His face drooped. He shared too much. I gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder and a grin as sort of a kidding gesture. His face reflected my real feelings. I wasn’t kidding. Open communication, closed. Trust, damaged. Ehh whatever. They have to have something to talk with their therapist about one day.

Oldies But Goodies

Here are some of the posts I’ve made over the past few years that have entertained by family and friends.

Me- Hey M! Check this tiny grape out!
M- Who pooped that out?
Me- Uhh no one. I don’t know, maybe a bigger grape.
M- I’ll eat it

M- Mom did you know beavers chew wood like this (I had to look in the rear view mirror) and make houses out of it?
Me- Yeah (I caught myself before I told him the name of those houses for fear he’d go on a DAM overload in the store, And the good Lord knows I was on my way to SAMs)
M- Mom, what do beavers eat?
Me- Well, I’m not…
M- MOM! I’m doing the talking right now, you LISTEN!

“Mom, dad is sick. Very, very sick. Cause he ate vegetables. He has a head egg too. He’s sick” -M

Well B took the cake today. He comes home from school saying he has 4 girlfriends now. I said 4? Who is number 4?
He replies, “Darlene is.”
“So how did this happen.”
“I don’t know she just told me today.”
He also told me that tomorrow they want to go hide during recess. WOAH WOAH WOAH
“You will not kiss her and no holding hands!”
“Ahh mom!”

On the way to school I asked the little girl I watch if Santa came to her house during Christmas.
She said no. M gasps, “Santa didn’t come to your house. You must be on the naughty list. (Sigh) Tell me about it”

The boys were up at 5:30 AM, thanks 2 hour time difference (we were in Phoenix for vacation). The first thing they ran to was their costumes.
M wants to play Christmas while he is in his batman outfit and I am packing up all the Christmas stuff. I do as I’m instructed and close my eyes and pretend to sleep while batman santa leaves a gift by my leg. I open my eyes…”Wow, thanks for the gift!”
“Do you like it?”
“What is it?”
“It’s a boob machine”
“A what? Did you say boob machine?” (this game has gone in the wrong direction)
“Yeah mom a boob machine”
“What does it do?”
“It gives Kierran milk for you”
I’m lost for words and get up to fix lunch. Where is this childs mind?